how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
