Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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