Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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