he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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