im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
