I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
