I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
