i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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