So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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