we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I cannot find my penis.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
