If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
