i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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