Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
