my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
