am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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