Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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