if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You were trust falling into bushes
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
