one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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