you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
