is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Randomize