wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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