i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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