why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Drunk is not a location!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize