Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
