your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
