Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just high enough for therapy.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
