I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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