I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
