Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize