So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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