Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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