boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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