You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
no. you can't hotbox the world.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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