Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Rumble strips road head = magical
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
