take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
