Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
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