you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
