so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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