I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
