Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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