I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
