At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i would punch a child for taco bell
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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