I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
