I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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