why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
