Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
