I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
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