tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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