I must be too annoying 4 u.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
