we're blogging at a bar
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
