Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
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