nut hugger
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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