is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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