i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
