I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
