Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
