She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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