Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
