My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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