just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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