i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
