Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
