He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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