just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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