i just google imaged poop.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
