my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize