I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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