I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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