She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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