I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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