i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
