once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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