I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
