New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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